i feel like leaving home

i want to go live with my dad but i dont want to go to the school over there. My mother likes getting under my skin and i hate it when she does that. She pushes my buttons. she likes to yell and scream and talk constantly. i dont like it when she does that, in fact i feel like hitting her when she does stuff like that. but if i do then she will call the cops on me as she has already said before numerous times. i wonder how life would be if i grew up with my dad. he is an okay guy. we share the same characteristic[most of them]. i belive if any one were to ask my neighbors how they think my relationship with my mother is going. i think they would say horrible. they would say that i scream all the time. she screams all the time. there is booms! and Bangs! bad words being screamed at the top of our lungs. horrible language used to hurt my feelings. which it doesnt really. i think my mother just needs t o grow up. she does stuff i would do when i was 11. like locking me out of the house. talking bad about me...like im a girl in her class or something. worshipping some dude who cheated on her with some bright light suga baby who had his child. and she never knew until later on and thats basically how everything started going downhill from then. i was filled with anger. so was she. we were living in a hotel...a hotel. our car got broken into. my socalled bf dumped me and then after he started dating this new girl she wanted to fight me because he still liked me and wanted to date me. it was clearly not my fault that i was attractive to him still.i never faught her or whatever and she ran and told everybody like that was something to be proud of. i wasnt going to fight her and i still am not going to..because it was over a boy and i never devote any of my time to a stupid little boy. i just wanted to move on. but everything kept getting worse. worse. my grandmother passed away and that just had me left devastated. i was getting in trouble at school. i broke my cellphone. glasses. and fan in my room. i was just bubbled up with anger and it ate me up inside. i just wanted to die at that point. sometimes still today. but i keep my life with me because i know i just cant do it. i would never take my OWN life. not even for my own mother. im just to scared. i want to live my life. i want to finish living. and whenever im feeling like i do right now. i listen to Michael jackson. he makes everything better for me. listening to his words and voice is just so heavenly. i like what he has to say. hes a some what role model for me because all the things he does. and that he doesnt let what people say get to him. my friend chante* just called. she was talking to me because she was bored, as i am. i asked her if she went somewhere would she please take me with her because i am absolutely bored. she is a cool person to hang out with. loud but cool. before she called my dad called. i asked if i could spend the night over his house this week. he said yeah for a few days. i wish i could stay for more like a year. but he works like a lot. and it gets boring without nothing to do. its crazy. icould watch a few good movies but nothing more. going outside to talk to strange teenagers would be a bit much and i would be risking the chance of getting hit on. like that time i got hit on by some guy that works at walmart near the eggs. he seemed crazy. weirdo....
i hope while im over my dads house i do get the chance to meet someone new. but i dont like meeting people really because thats a risk. i dont know them but if i got to know them and they are just soo not my style or rude i will have to bump them. and thats a waste of my time. gosh well gotta go. bye